Healthy v Unhealthy Relationships

I haven't mentioned it yet but I'm in a human sexuality class this semester. Dylan's already taken it, but with a different professor. I HIGHLY recommend this class, not only for the knowledge you'll gain on the human body and about sexuality in general, but for the HILARITY that ensues. It's practically like going to class with a room full of 14 year old boys who don't know jack shit about girls or their bodies and behaviors. Besides the fact that at the end of every class you have to submit an anonymous question and the things people come up with are actually unreal. My favorite question that I submitted (but did not come up with myself) was: If you have sex with your clone is it considered incest or masturbation. The answer? Incest, apparently, in this hypothetical world. Anyway today's class was about the signs of an unhealthy relationship and I think this is very important having been in MANY unhealthy relationships myself, and seeing my friends go through unhealthy relationships. Let's begin.

1. Disrespect- which means not paying attention to feelings, talking down or insulting your partner.
2. Jealousy- is really about doubt in the relationship. Some people find it comforting to know their partner is jealous because that "means they care", but in reality it's an immature insecure feeling.
3. Lies- all humans lie, it's normal. It makes things easier and allows us to avoid confrontation. It's the extent of lying you should be concerned with. Are you lying because you're scared of your partners reaction?
4. Fair Forgiveness- the ability to say you're wrong and be forgiven. People mess up. It's about not bringing up issues from 6 months ago.
5. Control- obviously there's going to be someone in the relationship who has more power, but you don't want it to turn into abuse (mental, physical or emotional) or isolation (don't see your friends anymore). You have to make sure you maintain your outside relationships because if you break up who will you turn to?
6. Communication- you have to be able to talk to each other and share feelings without judgment. For example if you come home with a problem and your partner constantly blows you off and says "stop whining" that's unhealthy.
7. Dependency- You have to be able to have your separate lives with separate friends.

Obviously no relationship is perfect. The unhealthy part comes from you feeling uncomfortable, which is never good. There should never be any kind of abuse, (mental, physical or emotional) and you should always try to resolve conflicts. If it comes down to you just view things differently and can't find a happy medium, it's probably not meant to be. Move on. The longevity of a relationship doesn't depend on how often you fight, but how you make up. Do you feel like the issue is resolved? If you feel like you display too many of these criteria in your relationship try talking it out with your partner, and if nothing is resolved from the conversation, it may be time to end the relationship. Just sayin, we don't want any unhealthy, unhappy relationships.

Much love,
Charlie